Being more effective when influence people.

1. If you want to gather honey, don’ kick over the beehive.

  • Don’t blame yourself for anything: Unappreciated & misunderstood.
  • Foolish to scold: Criticism is futile, because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themself.
  • Animals rewarded for good behaviour will learn more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively ……. than the converse.
  • Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them.

2. The big secret of dealing with people.

 Making the other person want to do it.

  • Two motives: Sex urge and the desire to be important.
    1. Latest styles
    2. Drive the later cars
    3. Engage in criminal activities
  • The deepest principle in human nature; is the craving to be appreciated. William James
  • Determination of character: If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, I’ll tell you what you are.
  • Why do people go insane: Many people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality?
  • Appreciation and encouragement: Ability to arose enthusiasm among my people and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. 

3. He who can do this has the whole world with him.

  • The only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.
  • Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire. First arouse in the other person an eager want.
  • Talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Example: Irish housemaid, put her maternal finger in the calf’s mount and let the calf suck on her finger as gently led him into barn.
  • Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed, because you wanted something.

Making people like you:

 1.   Become genuinely interested in other people. 

  • A dog is the only animal that doesn’t have to work for a living, because he makes his living by giving you nothing but love. 
  • You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people. 
  • He knew human nature. 
  • I love my audience. 

2.   A smile make a good 1st impression 

  • Smile: Action seem to follow feeling, but really, action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action - which is under the more direct control of the will - we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. 

3.   If you don’t do this you are heading for trouble.

  • In all the 15 years - I have been in this country - nobody has made has made the effort to call me by my right name. 
  • Remember that a person's name is - to that person - the sweet and most important sound in any lauguage.

4.   An easy way to become a good conversationalist.

  • All a person wants is an interested listener, so they can expand their ego and tell about where they had been.  (feel appreciated)

  • Be a good listener. In particular, ask famous (successful) people to tell you more about themselves - especially about their childhood.

5.   How to interest people.

  • When expecting a visitor - reseach the subject - you know the guest was particularly interested in.

  •  Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

6.   How to make people like you instantly.

  • Always make the other person feel important e.g. (great head of hair) and do it sincerely.

Persuade people to your way of thinking.

A): You can't win an argument.
  • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

 

B): A sure way of making enemies - and how to advoid it.

  •  Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

C): If you're wrong, amit it.

  •  If you're wrong, amit it quickly and emphatically.

D): A drop of honey.
  • Begin in a friendly way.
 
E): The secret of socrates.

  • Begin a discussion by emphasizing - and keep emphasing - the things on which you agree.
  • He who treads softly goes far.
  • The skillful speaker gets - at the outset - a number of "Yes" response. This sets the psychological process of the listeners moving in the affirmative direction.
  • "No". The entire organism - glandular, nervous, muscular - gathers itself together into a condition of rejection.
  • The Socratic method, was based upon getting a "yes, yes" response.
    • He asked questions with which his opponents would have to agree. 
    • He kept on winning one admission after another until he had an armful of yeses. 
    • He kept on asking questions unitil finally, without realizing it, his opponents found themselves embracing a conclusion they almost they would bitterly denied a few minutes previously.

F): The safety value in handling complaints.

  • Let the othe person do a great deal of the talking.

G): How to get cooperation.
  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

 

H): A formula that will work wonders for you.
  • Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view

 

I):  What everybody wants.

  •  Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

K): An appeal that everybody likes.

  •  Appeal to the nobler motives.

L): The movies do it. TV does it. Why don't you do it?


O): When nothing else works, try this.

A little competition can be good to get people energized. If you need to motivate people and you have tried sincere compliments, showing empathy and helping people feel heard, then you might want to try stimulating those competitive juices. There are easy ways to do this in an office:
  • Set up a scoreboard for leads.
  • Track sales numbers.
  • Have an idea competition.

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